I'm pretty sure this is my first journal entry, so woot go me. Anyway. I'm having trouble believing I'm actually a mother. It's so weird for me, because I never really wanted children of my own, I wanted to adopt. I still do actually. But, while life seemed bland and pointless before, everyday is now just so magical. She coos, and smiles. She tries to hold up her head (and it's so cute because she can't yet ). She recognizes faces. It's just amazing. Hard to though, waking up all hours of the night, trying to comfort her when I can't tell what it is she wants. And formula and diapers get expensive. It's all really worth it. I don't know how I managed to live before she was born. Though, I'll always remember her being born as the coldest day of my life. I lost alot of blood